


Hey babyyyyyyyyyy!!!

by pinkmagnolias



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Deceit | Janus Sanders, rated T because virgil says one (1) curse word, remy: I tried reading between the lines but it turns out I can't read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25679881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkmagnolias/pseuds/pinkmagnolias
Summary: Don't jump to conclusions, kids! (Or if you do, be sure to be extra about it.)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Sleep | Remy Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	Hey babyyyyyyyyyy!!!

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this: https://sleepless-in-starbucks.tumblr.com/post/612036078229225472/abdcfhsdv-it-is
> 
> warning for a funeral, though no one's actually dead; Remy's just dramatic

Logan’s phone buzzes with a text. He pulls it out of his pocket and unlocks it one-handed, the other hand still typing furiously. Once it’s open, he glances over to see the text is from his boyfriend, a “Hey baby” with several extra y’s and followed by about a dozen emojis.

He sends a “Hello.” and goes back to typing, setting his phone on the table beside him as he waits for Remy’s next text.

Sure enough it comes a few seconds later, an inquiry to how he’s doing with several flower emojis at the end.

Truthfully? He’s got a paper half-written that’s due _tomorrow_ , and he’s very stressed. But if he told Remy this, his boyfriend would worry and possibly try to drag him from the library to get some rest or something. Which would be sweet of him, but he does not have the _time_ for that.

Logan sends him a “Fine.” and hopes Remy won’t press. He doesn’t; in fact he doesn’t send another text, which Logan realizes about 10 minutes later.

He looks at his phone, the screen off, then shrugs and goes back to working. He’ll ask later, once this paper’s done and submitted.

* * *

“Virgil!” Remy calls as he bursts into the room and flops onto the couch dramatically. Virgil hisses at him and pulls his feet up onto the sofa arm with the rest of him.

“What do you want,” Virgil deadpans. Remy ignores his irritation.

“Can I borrow your coffin?” He asks. “And hide out here for the foreseeable future?”

“Why?”

“Logan’s mad at me.”

“Oh, shit,” Virgil winces.

“I _know_ ,” Remy groans. Virgil pats his leg sympathetically.

“Have you started working out the funeral details?” Virgil asks.

“D said they’d video it for posterity, Roman and Patton both said they’d come, though Patton’s ‘sure it’s not that bad, kiddo, why don’t you just talk to him about it?’“ Remy mimics Patton’s tone almost perfectly.

Virgil shakes his head. “Pat’s too sweet to draw Logan’s ire; he doesn’t know how bad it is.”

“Sunshine incarnate,” Remy agrees.

* * *

By the next day, they’ve got everything set up. Roman loaned him one of his easels and Patton got him a wreath, and so Remy has a nice little stand with a picture of him on it. And Virgil’s coffin beside him, of course.

They’d all gathered together with their nicest black clothing, fit for a funeral (although D insisted on keeping their beanie, and Virgil hadn’t actually dressed differently than he normally does at all, but D gets an excuse since they’re filming and Virgil dresses in all black anyway and it’s _close enough_ , okay, let Remy have this; if he’s going to die then he’s going to be as extra as possible about it).

“Are we all ready?” Remy asks. Getting nods from everyone, Remy nods to D to start videoing and begins his speech.

“We are gathered here today to honor the memory of me. I’m not sure what I did yet, but I probably deserved it.”

He’s about to go on, when—

“Remy?” Logan asks, coming over with the most adorably confused expression on his face, and any other day Remy would be glad to see him, but not when he’s mad at him and Remy’s literally hosting his own funeral.

“Logan!” Remy yelps, and tries to hide behind Virgil, who shoves him back into his spot and hisses, “Oh, _no_ , you don’t.”

“Remy, what is this?” Logan asks.

“Uh, heyyyy, babe,” Remy drawls, smiling nervously.

“Are you—“ Logan is looking around with bewilderment. “Are you holding a funeral? For yourself?”

“Yeeeees?” Remy says, stretching the word out like that will delay the inevitable.

“Why?”

“You’re mad at him,” D tells Logan.

“I— no?” Logan says. He turns to Remy. “Why do you think I’m mad at you?”

“Wait, you’re _not_?” Remy asks. Logan shakes his head. “But when I texted you yesterday then you sounded mad at me! I thought you hated me!”

“I was just too busy to give detailed response,” Logan tells him.

“Oh,” Remy grins, relieved.

Logan smiles back at him. Then his gaze moves past him and the smiles morphs into a frown of confusion. “Where did you get this coffin?”

“Virgil,” Remy tells him.

“Sup,” Virgil adds, flashing a peace sign.

“Why do you have a _coffin_?”

“Sleep,” Virgil says, and offers no further explanation. Remy can _see_ Logan’s decision not to ask, which is probably a wise one.

Remy steps over to Logan, leans his head on his shoulder. “So you’re really not mad at me?”

“I promise, love,” Logan says, wrapping his arm around Remy in a slightly awkward hug. “I was just busy; I had a paper due today that I needed to get done.”

“Okay,” Remy says. He leans up to kiss Logan’s cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Logan returns, kissing him back.

(D videos the whole thing.)

**Author's Note:**

> Virgil 100% gets the video for blackmailing purposes


End file.
